Poker Run to Impromptu Cover Shoot

A Day in the Life of a Moto-Journalist.

Yesterday, July 26, was another day like many others this month: the best laid plans wrecked by a Florida summer thunder-boomer. We were gonna do three biker events and ended up only doin’ one of ‘em, but we met some old friends, made some new friends and ended up takin’ some impromptu pictures for this month’s cover (August issue of Dixie Biker Illustrated). It’s funny how things have a way of workin’ out.

Boots and I loaded up early and headed to Merk’s Bar & Grille in New Smyrna Beach to hook up with Chad for the end of a poker run. After hangin’ there we were all gonna ride to the Warlocks MC clubhouse in Sanford for the end of the Veterans Run they were hosting. From there we were gonna ride down to the Shovelhead Lounge in Longwood for their grand reopening party. We ended up only battin’ .333 for our plans, though. After gettin’ a BLT and a couple five or six beers at Merk’s, we were fixin’ to head out and one of Chad’s friends, Dennis, came in and said, “Man, I got soaked! And only on the last mile.”

Oops. We went out on the deck and it was drizzlin’ a bit, but sunny to the east and south. We checked the radar on Chad’s phone—yeah, on his phone. And don’t ask—he tried to explain it to me, but. . . never mind. The radar looked bad headin’ west on Hwy 44 to Hwy 415 for the run to Sanford. South looked a little better so we figured we’d run down to Oak Hill and take Osteen-Mayport Road and circle around the rain. That didn’t work out either. It was gittin’ dark and nasty and we saw some lightning so we pulled into the All American Club, hosted by the Boozefighters, about three miles south of the No Name Saloon, unassed the bikes and ran inside just as the rain started. Lucky us!

Big Jim and Cappy welcomed us, introduced us to everyone and Sherlyn got us a couple more cold ones. We were just sittin’ around shootin’ the shit and catchin’ up with each other when someone said, “Hey, Precious (Cappy’s wife and who we’d just met and were shootin’ the shit with) is in this month’s issue of Dixie Biker.”

“No she’s not,” I said. “I lay out the photos and I would definitely remember her!”

Jim, Sherlynn’s husband (and DBI moto-journalist Kim’s dad) reached under the bar and brought out a copy of the July issue. Sure enuff, on page 68 was a picture of her that Chad had taken at the Cabbage Patch during Bike Week. I guess I didn’t recognize her cuz she was air-brushed up in Chad’s picture! Yeah, right. It’s that dang thing of being over fifty and sufferin’ from “Sometimer’s Disease.” Boots said something about we oughta take some pictures and put her on the August cover. “You have time to do that, right, Monk?”

Not really for the August issue, but. . . Boots wins. We shot a buncha pictures and spent a couple of hours waitin’ out the rain. It finally stopped, around 7 o’clock, and we headed out for the hour ride north. We got damp on the way, but it was a good day ridin’, hangin’ out and makin’ the best of it. And that’s what it’s all about.
There ya have it. And you thought it was all about plannin', studios, lights, camera, action. Nope. It's just about hangin' with friends and takin' it as it comes.

Obama Mania - Funny Picture

Got this one from Mary P in Volusia County (and a couple of others have sent it, too):

Bill of Non Rights

Time to reprise this one. Our congress people and president and presidential canditates are giving away our money by the billions even though the majority of Americans want them to stop. This has been floating around the internet a long time and it's time for some canditate to embrace it. Bet they would win by a landslide.

It was first written by Lewis Napper in 1993.

New Preamble to the Constitution

We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase "In God We Trust" is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, tough!

No you are not required to send this to anyone, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not, who will?

Here's a link to the archive: http://web.archive.org/web/20030801200633/http://www.lp.org/lpnews/0010/campaign2000.html

Taxes. How Much Do You Really Pay?

Got this in from Willie of Tropical Tatt0o this morning.

It's a video from the folks for Ron Paul, but following the brief introduction you'll get a good accounting of how much you're really payin' in taxes. It starts with the corporate taxes [You do know that corporations do NOT pay taxes, doncha? They do? Oh, that's right, the current corporate taxe rate is 35% so the rich corporations pay 35% tax on their profits, right? Silly you - corporations don't pay taxes - they just pass the cost on to you and me and we pay those taxes in the retail price of things we buy.]

Following the corporate taxes, it goes on to show how much you and I pay. . . and pay. . . and pay. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2CH9gHrRD4

Hope it makes you mad as hell.

More Nanny State Nonsense

Got this in from Frankie 5 Angels this morning:

. . . our government is keeping us safe from ourselves. This is sureal. . . can't people think for themselves anymore?! Pretty soon it will be illegal to screw or fart!

LA is proposing a new ordinance to forbid the construction of fast food restaurants. Read more at this link to the Wall Street Journal story:

. . . Despite its health-crazy reputation, parts of Los Angeles are plagued by obesity rates that rival any city in America. Now, the city may join a growing roster of local governments aiming to put their residents on diets by cracking down on the fast-food industry.
http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB121668254978871827.html

[There are a bunch of laws that already tell one how they may or may not participate in sexual relations, so some types of sex between two consenting adults are already outlawed.

Just another way the government protects us from ourselves - because we don't know better. And Obama promises lots more of the same. Monk]

Gas Taxes on Rise?

As I write this, we're payin' $4 a gallon for gas, and it's in the middle of July. Prices have come down a little, perhaps because President Bush is using the bully pulpit to beat up Congress on off-shore drilling. No biggie on that - it's too little, too late - but now this little gem comes up:

Remember back in the Spring how our pandering senators and representitives were talkin' about a "Gas Tax Holiday" for ninty days to "help the American working people" travel through the summer? What a bunch of crap that was. Now those same congress people are queitly gonna stick us where the sun doesn't shine, yet again. They want a $ .10 per gallon tax increase on gas and diesel. Friggin' idiots - it's the same ol' status quo. Raise taxes quietly while shouting about "how much they care for the working people." I'm so over all these assholes I'm thinking about voting against every single incumbent. I don't care who's running against them, the new folks could NOT do any worse than what our current elected representives are doing to us.

We had an acronym in the Army: BOHICA. "Bend over. Here it comes again." Well that's what they're doin', quietly, while we have a million other problems that need to be addressed.

Anyhow, here's the link to the Gas Tax story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25751775/
Now, lawmakers quietly are talking about raising fuel taxes by a dime from the current 18.4 cents a gallon on gasoline and 24.3 cents on diesel fuel.

Only in Dixie - Funny Tomatoes

"I've been growin' tomotoes a lotta years, Monk" wrote Dixie Biker reader Donna from Fernandina. "But I've never gotten any like this! I just hadda take a couplea pictures and get 'em in to you."

Thanks for sharing!

It's Monday - How about a little political humor.

Five surgeonsare discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York, says,, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Houston, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, DC shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable!

From Dixie Biker moto-journalist, Grump

Harry Reid on Oil and other Fossil Fuels

In a recent interview with Fox News Business Channel, Mr. Reid (D-Nevada), the Senate Majority Leader, who was evidently fed up with questions about drilling [off-shore, western shale deposits, etc.], suddenly exclaimed:
"Coal makes us sick, oil makes us sick; it's global warming. It's ruining our country, it's ruining the world. We've got to stop using fossil fuel."

Talk about outta touch. . .

Where would America be without oil, coal, plastics, and myriad other things that are products or by-products of fossil fuels? How does Mr. Reid fly back and forth to Nevada from Washington DC? How does he get limoed around the Capitol? Does he enjoy the extravagant meals in the Senate cafeteria? What powers the microphones he speaks through? There are thousands of things we take for granted everyday, the very things that make our lives comfortable and not a struggle, that are a direct result of fossil fuels.

As I write this, it's 84 degrees and humid (at 7:30 am.). Our AC is runnin' to keep our family comfortable. My computer is goin' fine, allowing me to write this post. Florida Power supplies 'always on' power to my home which allows me to brew the coffee I'm enjoyin' as I post. A little later today I'm gonna fire up the Harley Dixie Glide and ride to Jacksonville to cover a biker event. Gonna be burnin' a little fossil fuel for that one, too. When I return home, I'll flip on the lights and be able to see. I'll fire up the grill and put on a steak (gas grill - another fossil fuel) and enjoy an ice cold brewski that I pulled outta the fridge - runnin' very cold thanks to fossil fuel - as I grill my evening meal. Then maybe a little TV, a little reading, by electric lamp. That's enough - anyone with any common sense can come up with thousands of examples, too.

Which may just go to prove that the boy from Nevada has no common sense.

Off Shore Drilling Now

Despite what the people want, Congress, and it's Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, have been raisin' hell the past few days about NOT lifting the ban on drilling off America's coasts. Unfortunately, one of our Florida Senators, Nelson - D, has his head up his butt and isn't listening to the people, either.

Recent polls say close to 75% of Americans want us to DRILL NOW! http://www.zogby.com/news/ReadNews.dbm?ID=1519
http://pewresearch.org/pubs/884/gas-prices
(http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/local&id=6214070).

President Bush has lifted the moratorium from the Executive Branch. What's the Legislative Branch doing? Nothing. Telling us that we need to conserve more; look for alternatives; or live with the high prices. They're gonna go on vacation, but tell us to suck it up and drive on. Screw that.

Congress's ban on outer continental shelf exploration expires every year on September 30, which means that if the Democrats want to continue keeping gas prices high, they will have to act a few week's before November's election. They must vote to keep it in effect. Ha - they won't be able to hide their votes this year!

The President of the Institute for Energy Research
(http://www.instituteforenergyresearch.org/), Thomas Pyle, issued this statement in response to President Bush's annoucement:

"The federal government has made it illegal to produce taxpayer-owned energy from taxpayer-owned lands for nearly three decades. That’s a fact consumers need to understand as they cope with skyrocketing prices for everything from groceries to gasoline. Most Americans understand the law of supply and demand, but they may not know that America is the only developed nation in the world that restricts access to its own offshore energy resources, or that an annual vote in
Congress is require to continue that policy. That time of the year has come, and the next 78 days will be a critical period for America’s energy security."

Congress, our 535 representitives and senators (lower case on purpose), are making us pay $4+ per gallon. They're the same people that MANDATED the use of ethanol which is screwing up not only my Harley, but has driven food prices outta sight. But, I digress - that's another column.
It's time to call, mail and e-mail your representitive now and let 'em know how unhappy you are because they're so outta touch with reality. Hold their feet to the fire )like last year when they tried to sneak the Immigration-Amnesty crap through. As Chuck Norris said recently:

"Bottom line: It is "We the People" who have power over the government, not them over us. They are called to protect our pursuit of life, liberty and happiness, not vice versa. And if they don't, the Declaration of Independence states, in no uncertain terms, that we are "to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for (our) future Security." It's time to replace most members of Congress with "new Guards". . .

That's what November's for. . . unless they listen NOW.

Democrat, Republican or Biker?

This has been floatin' around the internet and we've recieved it from lotsa readers, so I thought I'd post it here.

Democrat, Republican, or Biker? Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking through a parking lot after having dinner with your wife and two kids. Suddenly, a middle eastern lookin' dude approaches, screams obscenities, praises Allah, pulls out a knife, and charges at you. You're carrying a Colt 45. You have mere seconds to decide whether to shoot or not. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:
That's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Can we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 on my cell? Why is this parking lot so deserted?

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends over wine and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer: BANG!

Biker's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click. . . (Sounds of ejecting and reloading a magazine)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click . . .

Daughter: "Nice shot group, Daddy! Were those jacketed or hollow points?"
Son: "Hey dad! Can I shoot the next one?!"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist to mount in the den!"

Turn Traffic Lights Green

Hey y'all. Got this from my good bud Willie at Tropical Tattoo.
Sick of sittin' at traffic lights? Here's a video of a way to fix it:


Turn Traffic Lights Green Every Time - Watch more free videos

Back into Commentary

We haven't posted to this blog in a long while cuz we've been busy and tryin' to maintain our other websites. But elections are coming up and we're hearin' lotsa buzz from our readers so we figured it's time to start bloggin' again and give y'all a place to let loose. Please comment, or e-mail us what you'd like to post also. Ride safe!